I had made distinct mental notes about Lou and her handling/coping with her mom passing away and taking both parents’ remains back to Guam for interment. She had always said periodically that she was just not ready for her mom to go.
When Mom Salas was in the hospital in her final days, again Lou mentioned that she doesn’t want Mom to go because she’s not ready to let go. Yet, throughout the sad days, from the moment mom passed on to the trip to Guam and funeral mass, to the final resting placement in their nook at Pigo Cemetery, Lou had only once in a while shed a few tears and sobs. She actually said she felt a sense of release for her mom in that Mom got the beautiful mass and rosaries said for her as she would have wanted. I thought wow, Lou has handled this beautifully.
This morning, we were sitting in the lanai clearing up and arranging for the evening’s annual Christmas party. Christmas music was playing on the iPod docking station. I came outside and Lou was crying. She said that Mom always loved the Christmas holidays, and even in her advanced stages of dementia she always recognized Christmas when she was told it was Christmas Day and would smile. This is the first Christmas without Mom. It hit Lou (finally), and she was having a hard time with the music and the festiveness of the day knowing it is without Mom.
I myself went thru the same thing three weeks ago when we got back from Guam and started putting up the Christmas lights. I had to stop the festive Christmas music and play that Johnny Sablan song that reminds me of Mom… Si Nana Gi Familia… and I had to let myself cry. For as hard and as long as was needed. Either that or the tears would forever be right at the cusp.
Such is life for the survivors, eh.
She’s a strong woman, she’s got this. She just needs to release that pressure valve a little bit and let the emotions take over for a while. It will feel better on the other side of it.