I left my heart… in … Guam

I saw someone post this somewhere… snagged it because it just reached out to my heart and fuckin’ squeezed it until it hurt.

I’ve lived away from Guam twice as long as I lived on Guam. I guess the first 18 years of life spent there is what anchors me to my heart’s home. No matter how far, no matter how long ago. I can write a long laundry list of things that bug me about Guam, all those OOG things, the backwards things, the inefficient things, the ‘should have modernized a long time ago’ things.

I’d trade all the modern conveniences and state of the art ways of life that I have now to go back home to live out the rest of my days under the right circumstances. Unfortunately, those right circumstances are the kids and grandkids. If Lou and I moved home, which she would be willing to do if it’s what I truly want to do, we would be so far from the family… our immediate family. Lots of extended family and friends are there, but the kids are what make our family unit whole.

These kids also saw our example of when Lou’s parents needed to be cared for, we brought them here to be with us. We convinced my mom to relocate here to live close by so we can look after her too. They saw how we gave them, and are giving my mom, the quality of life in their golden years that they wouldn’t have gotten on Guam without close family support. So, logically, if Lou and I move home now, what will the kids do in our waning years when they see we need to be looked after? HA! We’ll be right back here…

So I guess that’s where Guam will remain for me. In my heart, in my thoughts, in my dreams of what if we’d moved back years ago and raised our family there instead. Lou and I will be back Guam, when our journey is done.

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